by Chris Eaton-
I’ve been a firm supporter of The Simpsons my whole life. I’ve never really bashed any of their episodes (sans the retcon Homer and Marge dating in the 90′s episode), and I’ve always proclaimed they’ve never jumped the proverbial shark. So when I arrived home this evening, after a long day, I pull up tonight’s episode on my DVR, select Simpsons, I see this:
Really? Fucking REALLY?
The producers of The Simpsons thought it would be a good idea to make an opening to a fucking Ke$ha song? I now know what Trey Parker and Matt Stone were referring to when asked why their show is getting angrier and edgier and Simpsons stays the same. The writing staff is too young, or, by Xenu’s might tentacle, this was Fox’s idea and they just rolled with it.
Why? The song is just plain shitty. I can’t fucking stand Ke$ha (who puts a goddamn dollar sign in her name). She’s a 23 year old blond white chick who wants to be a black “artist”. All of her fucking songs are over-sampled piles of shit, with her voice processed to sound remotely like it’s singing. On top of that, all of the lyrics in her songs are garbage. She’s a no-talent fucking hack that is playing in to this current trend of shit music that people listen to, just because it has some stupid fucking beat. To personally napalm each person that finds this shit listenable would be my greatest wish. There’s a theory that if a person listens to Beethoven, that music will make you smarter. Well, if the laws of the universe are correct, that means that if there’s music that makes you smart, then there has to be music that makes you dumb. Guess what, ITS FUCKING KE$HA! SHE’S NOT EVEN GOOD LOOKING. I’d give her a little bit of a pass if she had looks, but she looks like some one took a shit on Avril Lavigne then polished that right up with some fucking sparkles.
Why Simpsons? The rest of the episode was gold. You had Eddie Izzard as a British security official bringing Britain’s mass video monitoring system to Springfield. Lisa dealing with the stereotype of being dumb and blond. You even made a Comic-Con-moving-to-Anaheim reference (which is really current for The Simpsons) Yet, this opening just left a bitter taste in my mouth. Not just because I hate this song, but it’s because you took the time to ANIMATE AN OPENING OF THE SHOW TO IT! I gave you kudos last week for using that Electric Six song “Danger , High Voltage” in the windmill montage, but fucking Ke$ha. Goddamn it, I hope some one got a name plate lobbed at their head for this one.
I can now, safely agree, in you’re 21 seasons in, you’ve jumped the fucking shark.