“There should be a separate entrance at Penn Station for people wearing Louboutins.”
Previously on Ringer: Siobget sees a psychiatrist, Charlie feeds Gemma bologna, Malcolm hates mouthwash, Henry showed his twins, Olivia got dirt on Siobhan, and Juliet didn’t exist. Oh yeah, and Charlie has a dual personality too, so his new name is Char-John.
This week on Ringer [SPOILER ALERT] Andrew the Brit, wearing suspenders, surprises Siobget with white flowers everywhere. Tomorrow is their anniversary so he wanted everything to be special for the night before… Ok. Siobget tells him “I love you,” and means it. Then they have DE SEX!
Sexy Malcolm did not find Gemma, instead he finds a phone which they eventually figure out is Gemma’s phone. I guess the clue was the wallpaper of Gemma and her redheaded twins. Maybe. The Scoobies form a plan to call the cops (brilliant, I know). The cops go and question Char-John but of course they believe him since he used to be a cop and all. Instead they take Malcolm down to the precinct… because he’s black.
Siobhan is still in Paris and meets up with Tyler, who’s back in Paris. Apparently she gives herself a black eye to prove to Tyler that Andrew is really a mean old man and beats her. Tyler doesn’t buy it. Char-John calls Siobhan and tells her he wants to kill Gemma because she knows too much. Siobhan’s all, “No, she’s my friend.” Char-John’s all, “If this is how you treat your friends I hate to see how you treat your enemies.” Then he says he wants double the money that she promised him. She says she can’t get that much right now. Char-John goes rogue.
Machado, of the eyeliner, is back in Wyoming when he finds out that his new stripper informant is dead. I squeed when I saw it was Tara! Yay, Amber Benson!!! But yeah, she’s dead, so no recurring role. Anyways, Tara told Machado that there is a spy on the police force that Bodaway has on the payroll that he calls The Matador. Machado investigates and finds out its good ol’ Jimmy, the one that gave Bridget the gun and helped her escape. He’s got some ‘splaining to do!
Siobget tries to tell Henry that Char-John took Gemma. He goes ballistic and tells her to stop trying to Scooby this herself and go to the cops. 15 points for Henry! (If you’re keeping score, Malcolm has 1000 points and Henry has 15).
Char-John shows up at the penthouse and chats up Andrew the Brit to Siobget’s horror. After The Brit leaves Char-John tells her to “sit her ass down” and give him $250,000 in exchange for Gemma. Siobget’s all, “How can I trust you?” Char-John’s all, “You can’t, biatch.” Henry comes to the penthouse just as Char-John is leaving, sees his name in the visitor log, runs out after him but doesn’t catch up with him.
Siobget goes to her safe place, the closet, and is desperately counting out money to give to Char-John when Andrew the Brit finds her. She cries and tells him all about Char-John kidnapping Gemma and holding her for ransom. The Brit says to call the police but Siobget says she can handle all this herself. Andrew and Siobget don’t have all of the money, but Andrew has the $200,000 ring that he was going to give Siobget as an anniversary present. He was going to propose to her all over again… for the first time… but he doesn’t know it’s actually the first time… anyways. He tells her she can’t go to meet Char-John alone and says he’s coming with her.
Meanwhile, at Penn Station, The Brit and Siobget get there right on time but after waiting for 30 minutes its clear Char-John isn’t showing up. Char-John then calls Siobget and fusses at her that she was supposed to come alone. Siobget’s all, “Andrew wouldn’t let me come alone.” Char-John’s all, “No, not London Fog (Best. Name. Ever.), the cops.” Siobget just happens to look out of the exact window where the cops are and sees them in their car. She tries to convince Char-John she didn’t call them but he doesn’t believe her and tells her it’s too late. He then walks to the back of his car and shoots Gemma! The horror of dying in the trunk of a Honda! The cops finally come in with Henry. Siobget finds out that they have been trailing her all day because Henry freaked out when he saw Char-John at Siobget’s flat. Cop Saldana gets a call and finds out that Char-John’s prints were all over Gemma’s phone. Siobget tells everyone about the ransom, etc. The cops say they didn’t find anything at both residences, so Siobget hands over the bill to the storage place that Malcolm stole from the mailbox last episode.
Meanwhile, at the storage place, Char-John goes to the back of the Honda to find [REVELATION] no Gemma in the trunk! He whirls around to see Gemma with a tire iron whacking him in the head. “That’s what you get for trying to kill me, asshole.” Gemma tries to call 911 but Char-John must have AT&T because there’s no signal. She finds the keys in the ignition, but Char-John is still alive and attacks her. Gemma asks, “Why are you doing this?” and Char-John says, “You can thank your friend, Siobhan.” “You mean Bridget.” “Nope, I mean Siobhan. That bitch is still alive.” And then he finally kills Gemma *tear*. As he drags her into the storage bin (why he’s going to put a dead body into storage is anyone’s guess. The smell will tip someone off rather quickly. You’d think a cop would know that.) he comes face to face with THE REAL SIOBHAN! and her gun. After some “you know you still need me, no I don’t” banter, Siobhan shoots Char-John, puts the gun in his hands, and calmly walks away.
Later, Siobget and Malcolm are at Char-John’s apartment collecting Malcolm’s things when they find a note that says: Siobhan. Pivoine. 419. Siobget wonders why he was after Siobhan, why he kidnapped Gemma, and reasons that this couldn’t be just about money.
Back in Paris, Tyler calls Siobhan in New York and says he found her pregnancy test in her room. “Is the baby mine?” Tyler asks. “Totally,” Siobhan answers. Oooooh…
Juliet the Annoyer referenced Twilight therefore she will never be spoken of again, except she claims her teacher raped her. That’s all. No more Juliet. I’m done.
No new episodes until January, but here’s a preview of the first show of the rest of the season.
Ringer airs Tuesdays at 9/8 central on the CW.
