“Who does she think she is giving me last week’s recap a day before this week’s new episode?”
Chill, Siobhan. Honestly, this was a boring episode. The most exciting thing that happened was SMG got cute new bangs. Anywho, previously on Ringer: Gemma and Char-John die, Juliet became dead to me, Buffy’s Tara showed up for half a second, Siobhan told Tyler he IS the father, and Malcolm didn’t get enough air time. This week (last week?) on Ringer [SPOILER ALERT]
We are introduced to a new mean girl friend of Siobhan’s named Greer. They do hang in packs don’t they? Siobget is wary of her because she brings her peonies. I know, what a cow. It seems that peonies in French is pivoine and thats what was scrawled on the note Siobget and Malcolm found in Char-John’s apartment. Siobget figures she should get on this chick’s good side so she can find out more so she agrees to do some lame charity work for public schools. Yeah, like rich people even care about the public school system.
Henry invites Agent Machado of the Eyeliner over to his home because NYPD has basically brushed him off and won’t tell him anything except that they have ruled Gemma’s death a murder/suicide. He knows Bridget’s involved and wonders why the police aren’t looking for her. Machado reassures him that he is still looking for Bridget. Henry wonders what the connection between Gemma, Char-John and Bridget could be? Agent Machado reckons it was a way to get money, ransom off her sister’s bestie. “It all comes back to Siobhan, doesn’t it.” Dun, dun, DUN. Henry might be smarter than he looks.
The real Siobhan is still in New York and breaks into Martin/Charles to hack into Andrew the Brit’s compy but can’t get through. Where’s Willow when you need her, eh Buff? She’s interrupted by Tyler’s phone call and an assistant, but lies her way out it.
Malcolm calls Siobget to tell her he won’t be at Narcotics Anonymous today because he has a job interview. Siobget says she won’t be there either. Malcolm fusses at her for missing so many meetings. He tells her that he needs a job soon or he’ll have to leave New York. Siobget says, “Hey you can be Andrew’s computer guy.” Malcolm’s all, “Um, I’m a computer professor, not a computer tech.” Siobget’s all, “Bitch, it’s a job you best take it.”
Siobhan calls Tyler back and cons him into helping her figure out how to crack into Andrew’s computer for his financial statements. See, she thinks that there are separate financials that he shows to his investors than what he really has. [Intermission] I still am not clear what the hell Siobhan is trying to do. Is she just trying to get Andrew in jail? Why does she hate him so much. He seems nice to me. Why did she fake her death in order to do this. This bitch is crazy. [End Intermission] Tyler tells her to look at the home computer because, generally, security is more lax at home. Siobhan sees Henry on the street and books it after him just to say, “I miss you.” Henry’s all, “You know what I miss, MY WIFE.” Bwahahaha! 20 points for Henry! “She’s dead because of your crackhead sister.” Siobhan’s all, “Sit with me and I’ll tell you everything.” “I’m busy!” Then Siobhan gives him her best sad panda face and he’s all, “ok, I’ll sit with you later, meet you at the loft.” Oh Henry. I might take those 20 points away. Have a backbone, man!
Meanwhile, back at the police station, Machado of the Eyeliner agrees with Henry that Char-John didn’t kill himself and that NYPD just wants to sweep this under the rug because Char-John was once a cop. He also agrees that Bridget is involved somehow, but where the heck is she? Generic Cop Guy #1 hands Machado a photo of Char-John driving into the Hamptons that’s time stamped during the same time they “know” Bridget Kelly was in the Hamptons. Looks like it’s time for a road trip.
Andrew the Brit is having some kind of corporate meeting and Sexy Malcolm shines as he saves the day with… a chart! Yay Malcolm! Andrew offers him a job on the spot. See, Andrew’s nice. What the hell is wrong with Siobhan?
Siobget and Greer are spending quality time together and she tries fishing around for more info on why Greer and Siobhan are no longer friends. Apparently there was a weekend where Greer saw something and then Siobhan chewed her out so severely that they never spoke again. Siobget says, “I’m not the same person I was then, let me prove it to you.” As Greer leaves, Juliet the Annoyer shows up and then immediately freaks the fuck out because the fundraiser is at her house and Mr. Carpenter the Alleged Rapist will be at her house. “Gee, I wonder what’s wrong with her,” Siobget ponders.
Siobhan sneaks back to the old apartment and of course the first thing she does is fawn over the ginormous photo of herself, but she becomes quickly angry when she sees shit all over the place! How did I know she would be a control freak? She steals a scarf and then heads over to Andrew’s laptop. After going through a number of password combinations she types in her name and has access. Awww. But Andrew comes back while she’s in the middle of it and Siobhan is trapped and can’t leave to her date with Henry. Then Siobget shows up too! Siobhan is appalled that Bridget and Andrew are all lovey dovey kissy wissy and that he bought her a diamond ring. Andrew finally leaves, Bridget takes a shower and Siobhan’s download of Andrew’s hard drive is finally done. Siobhan stalks Siobget in the shower and *gasp* steals her ring! Hey, she earned that you didn’t! Me thinks Siobhan is getting a little pissed that Bridget is all nice and settled into Siobhan’s life. Siobget comes out of the shower and is all, “Oh noes ma ring is gone!”
The guests arrive and Siobget lies and says she took the ring in the get resized. Henry comes in raging about Siobhan messing up his day because he was waiting for her. Siobget’s all, “I have no idea what you’re talking about, dude.” Henry’s all, “Stay out of my life! I’m done with you.” Greer notices. Siobget goes to the balcony to pout when Greer follows her. Siobget discovers that Greer found out about Siobhan and Henry that weekend and that’s why they weren’t talking anymore. Greer then says that she couldn’t stay friends with Gemma because she couldn’t look her in the face and keep lying to her and because of that she hated Siobhan. Siobget asks, “what’s up with the peonies?” Greer tells her she was just being bitchy because there were peonies all over the [REVELATION] Hotel Pivoine where they stayed in [REVELATION] Boston. (A clue, a clue!)
Juliet the Annoyer causes a scene at the party cause she’s drunk and her alleged rapist is there. Andrew sends her to her room. Siobget comes in later and gets out of her what happened with Mr. Carpenter. Siobget goes ballistic and decks Mr. Carpenter and tells him to “get out of my house” and “if you come near my step-daughter again I will kill you.” Andrew’s all WTF? Juliet is ungrateful even though Siobget just stuck up for her. Typical.
Machado’s in the Hamptons looking for Blue’s clues and meets a helpful waitress who says Char-John was there with Siobhan, not Bridget. Dun, dun, DUN.
Siobget, also on the Scooby trail, bings Hotel Pivoine and it’s closed, but there’s a sister hotel in Paris… hmmm…
Siobhan shows up at Henry’s house and apologizes and says she knows she’s been acting like a different person these last few months, but it wasn’t supposed to be like this and she can fix it.” Henry’s all, “you are not the same person I saw at the party yesterday. Who the hell are you?” Will Siobhan tell Henry the truth? Please let us in on your crazy scheme, Lucy cause no one else knows what the fuck you’re doing.
Next week (uh, tomorrow) on Ringer:
Ringer airs Tuesdays at 9/8 central on the CW.