Previously on The Vampire Diaries the mother of all vampires failed at killing her kids; Damon turned Bonnie’s mom into a vamp; Crazy Melissa Meredith shot Alaric; and Rebekah is on the hunt for killer trees. This week on The Vampire Diaries [Spoiler Alert]
Alaric resuscitates in a jail cell after after Crazy Melissa Meredith shot him. She tells the police that she did it in self-defense and that Alaric is the Founder Council Killer. Damon’s all, “And you believe her? Alaric is a victim of the FCK. And we all know she’s the real A!” (Doesn’t anyone watch Pretty Little Liars? It wasn’t Mona, it’s MELISSA!! And now she’s on TVD trying to kill all the founders! — end rant.) Alaric insists that Meredith is framing him. Caroline’s mom tells Damon and Alaric that he’s staying locked up until they figure out the truth and if Damon starts meddling in police business she’ll stick him in there too.
Elena and Matt are running around town when Matt tells her that Bonnie’s mom, Abby, is going to go through with her transition and become a vampire. Yay. Elena wants to know if there is anything she can do. Oh, hmmm, let me see. NO! It’s your fault Abby’s a vamp in the first place. Can’t these boys just let Elena die? If they wait another 100 years another clone will pop up just like her.
Caroline’s mom calls Elena to let her know Alaric’s in jail. She rushes over there to find Damon who says that he’s going to stay out of it.
Elena: But he’s your friend you can’t just leave him in there to rot.
Damon: Well I could rip out Meredith’s heart and cut it into tiny pieces and feed them to the squirrels. Oh, I guess staying out of it sounds better now doesn’t it? 10 points to Damon! Elena then tries to make him feel bad about Bonnie and Abby.
Damon: Yeah, they’re probably hurting real bad right now. Should I send lasagne?
Bwahaha! God, I love Damon. Elena then says something self-righteous and storms away. Same shit, different year.
Tweaker Stefan is trying to write in his diary (hey yeah, I forgot this show is called the vampire diaries since we never see the vampire writing in said diary) when Damon tries to brotherly bond with him by solving the FCK mystery. Apparently Damon remembers that their relative back in the day was killed in the same manner as well as other council members. Stefan remembers it and whips out the old Diary of 1912. We flashback to past!Stefan at the funeral of his descendant and talking to a past!Lockwood chick and a past!Gilbert chick. The past!Gilbert chick tells him that the dead past!Salvatore was murdered and that he wasn’t the first. “It’s not a good time to be a founding family.” Past!Damon shows up and is all “I still hate you for making me a vampire and killing our dad. Wah.” Past!Stefan convinces past!Damon to go out drinking with him so they can catch up.
Rebekah is at the Grill trying to get any info she can on the killer tree from Tyler’s mom but Carol knows nothing. She ends up telling Bekah that the Salvatores owned saw mills back then. Damon and Stefan walk in and Rebekah and Damon make oogly eyes at each other. Damon chastises Stefan for being all tweaky and tells him that instead of quitting human blood cold turkey he should use moderation. Stefan tries to change the subject back to the serial killer when Bekah shows up to harass them. She starts asking a lot of questions about their family and the saw mills but Damon shuts her down real quick with “If you want more sex just ask for it.” Bekah asks if they ever caught the killer and Damon tells her everyone just suspected vampires. Stefan and Damon start accusing each other but then they remember that the other vampire around at that time was that chick that played Tess Mercer on Smallville, Sage. Damon wonders if Sage really could have killed the founders back then. Stefan says that it probably never occurred to them that a girl was a mass murderer. How sexist. Women can kill too, ya know.
Picture it, Mystic Falls, 1912: The past!Salvatore boys are chugging whiskey watching a boxing match and there’s past!Sage with her perfectly coiffed hair beating the daylights out of someone. Past!Stefan starts lecturing past!Damon on how to survive without drinking live but past!Damon tells him to go to hell. Past!Damon catches the eye of past!Sage who promptly puts money down his pants. 20 points to past!Sage!
Alaric is trying to convince Caroline’s mom that he should be freed. The sheriff tells him that Meredith had altercations with both the Medical Examiner and Caroline’s dad before the murders and that she told Alaric about them. Alaric can’t really remember any of the conversations with Meredith and he doesn’t have an alibi for the night the Medical Examiner died.
Elena confronts Meredith about why she’s trying to frame Alaric. Meredith says Elena really doesn’t know anything about Alaric or what he’s capable of. Then she starts mouthing off all of Alaric’s criminal records, which I want to know how the hell does she know so much about his criminal past unless she was trying to find the perfect person to frame for her killing spree?
Elena: He didn’t kill anyone and you know it.
Meredith: You date vampires, Elena. It shouldn’t come as a shock that your guardian is a murderer.
Ok, I have to give 20 points to Meredith for that one… begrudgingly.
Matt and Elena break into Meredith’s place in search of evidence that she framed Alaric. Like all founding families in Mystic Falls her secret stash is behind a panel in the closet. Inside they find a banker’s box with files on dead Medical Examiner guy, dead Caroline’s dad and should-be-dead Alaric. They also find an old Gilbert journal and a letter from the coroner’s office that says that Medical Examiner’s death was at a different time than Meredith said it was. Meredith got some ‘splaining to do. But before they can find anything else, the Scoobies hear keys jingling and have to hide in the closet as Meredith comes back home. They hear her come in and then leave again so Elena opens up the door only to find Meredith staring right at them. Eeep!
Rebekah is still trying to weasel info about the frakkin tree from the boys and they’re over it so they try to leave her but she keeps following them. The subject goes back to Stefan trying not to “slaughter innocent people” and how unfun Damon’s life was back in 1912. Then we flashback to past!Sage catching past!Damon feeding on a hooker and telling him he’s doing it all wrong. Past!Sage tells him “What’s the point of being a vampire if you can’t have fun with your food?” She teaches him the “fun” way to hunt, which basically involves finding the most uptight chick in the place, seducing her and then sucking all her blood out. Fun times! Past!Damon picks past!Gilbert chick as his first victim.
The Scoobies are in the sheriff’s office getting yelled at about breaking and entering Meredith’s place. Elena says that they found evidence that clears Alaric in the M.E.’s murder. Sheriff Forbes already knows about the letter because sneaky Meredith gave it to her several hours prior. The sheriff tells them to go home and Alaric should be released as soon as they can authenticate the letter.
Back to the future, Stefan is wigging out at the bar and needs to leave. Damon says only if he admits that he’s tweaking. Stefan finally admits that he’s freaking out and wants to eat the entire wait staff. Stefan storms out of the grill with Damon and Bekah following. Bekah says that he can’t possibly think that he can live without feeding. Damon says “Oh yeah he does. It’s either one extreme or another. ” Damon then sees a blonde girl walking down the alley, stops her, compels her and bites into her. Stefan hears, smells, whatever, what’s going on and jumps on Damon. Stefan freaks out when he sees the blood. Damon tells him “It’s dinner time.” Stefan tells him no but Damon says either feed or he’ll give the girl to Rebekah and we all know that Rebekah will do some sinister shit that girl, right?
Whiny Stefan: Why are you doing this? You know what blood does to me.
Damon: Because you let it control you. You need to learn how to fight it.
Rebekah goes to take a bite and Stefan pushes her out of the way and drinks. Damon then kicks Rebekah to the curb and tries to get Stefan to stop drinking but he’s all growly and hungry and stuff and doesn’t want to let go of Blonde Victim. Damon finally gets him off of her, gives her his blood so she can heal, when guess who happens to walk by… Elena and Matt! Stefan turns around and Elena sees the blood dripping from his mouth, the blood all over Blonde Victim and Blonde Victim drinking Damon’s blood and gets what’s going on. Damon’s all, “Why the fuck is she here?” Elena’s all, “Eww gross!” Stefan’s all, “Do I have blood dripping from my mouth?” Matt finally drags Elena away from the alley while Stefan is pretty much licking his lips. Stefan storms off into Never Never Land.
Elena and Matt are at her house talking about her vampire boyfriends. Matt doesn’t get why she’s with them. She says that after her parents died she felt safe around Stefan because he would never die. I think that’s how most girls pick their boyfriends. Which boy is most likely not to die? You? Ok, I’ll go out with you. Oh, you’re a blood-sucking killer? That’s ok, no problem. Oh, and it’s not at all awkward to talk about your blood-sucking boyfriend with the ex-boyfriend that you left to start dating the blood-sucker at all. Matt changes the subject, thank god, by bringing out the Gilbert journal that he boosted from Meredith’s stash. Alaric comes home and he and Elena huggle.
Stefan is brooding by the fire when Damon comes home and lets him know that Alaric is out of jail. Damon tries to console Stefan and tell him that he actually did well tonight by not, you know, killing Blonde Victim. Stefan’s all, “Why do you even care Damon? Because you kissed Elena? You want to go back to hating me?” “Can’t you just believe that I’m trying to help you?” “I don’t need your help.” “Um, yeah you do. Do you remember the last time you ‘didn’t need my help?’” 1912 again: Still in the boxing tents, past!Damon coaxes past!Stefan to find a lady for dinner that evening. They settle on past! Lockwood chick. He cuts into her so much that her head falls off, much to the horror of both boys. Past!Stefan’s all, “OMG what did I do?” and tries to put Barbie’s head back on. Past!Damon tries to stop him but past!Stefan freaks and yells at him. Past!Damon tells him he can help him, he just needs to learn when to stop. Past!Stefan’s all, “I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP!” and bones out. Damon feels guilty that he let him get away that night and that he became The Ripper and he did nothing to stop him. He wants to be there for him now to stop him from going too far until Stefan no longer needs him.
Whiny Stefan: Why?
Damon: Because you’re all I got.
*tear* — not really.
Elena is reading the Gilbert diary when Alaric comes in to tell her not to get into trouble with the cops because of him. He’s the one that’s supposed to look after her. They agree that they should look after each other. Elena tells him what she’s reading and we find out that it’s not Jonathan Gilbert’s diary it’s his granddaughter that went nutso just like him. Elena then goes upstairs to bed.
Stefan found more old books and apparently Samantha Gilbert, Jonathan’s granddaughter, was the one who confessed to the be the FCK and was locked away in an insane asylum. Damon thinks that’s totally crazy because he had already killed her! They both assume that she had a bring-me-back-to-life ring like all the other Gilberts. They both believe she’s dead now, so she’s not the one killing the current founders, but maybe the possessor of the ring is the killer?
Meredith comes by Elena and Alaric’s house. She tells Alaric that she’s trying to help him and that she forged the coroner’s note to free him so that they won’t look at him as the murderer again. (Does anyone else notice that she needs to be invited into the house?) At the same time Elena is reading the journal as Samantha goes crazy. Meredith shows Alaric all of her “evidence” especially the part about everyone being killed with his weapons and that his injury could have been self-inflicted. Alaric says he would know if he was killing people, but Meredith asks him if he has had any blackouts or instances of lost time.
Meredith: You wear a ring that lets you cheat death. How many times can you die before it changes you? I think you’re sick and I want to help you. This happened before almost 100 years ago.
Enter Elena, Captain Obvious: I think she’s right.
We then see past!Crazy-ass Samantha killing past!Salvatore.
Next week, Alaric goes crazy, yo! Take a sneak peek:
Vampire Diaries airs Thursdays at 8/7c on the CW.
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