Walt is vomiting in his frozen tomb right now.
Warning: Rant coming on.
Sorry, I have to say this first. What the fucking fuck is this?
Let me go to the beginning. Barney’s, a high end clothing store in New York City, has made an arrangement with the Walt Disney Company to use their characters for a winter ad campaign. In doing so, Barney’s has pretty much turned Minnie, Daisy and even Goofy into Euro trash coke whores. And from the looks of Minnie and Daisey, HUGE rails are being done.
What’s the reason for this? As part of the ad campaign, Barney’s is creating a:
moving art short film in the window displays that will turn Disney’s most favorite heroes into runway supermodels and fashion regulars into Disney types, and an original score by Oscar-winning composer Michael Giacchino.
So the Disney characters, confirmed to be: Goofy, Daisy, Minnie, Mickey, Cruella de Vil, Princess Tiana and Snow White, are all going to be dolled up in over priced, shitty run way model clothing. All of this is going come together as the mini film Barney’s is calling Electric Holiday.
Did I mention this apparently has a plot too?
The short film centers around Minnie Mouse’s fantasy to be at the Paris shows. There she comes across key Disney characters — Mickey Mouse, Goofy, Daisy Duck, Cruella de Vil, Princess Tiana and Snow White — all decked out in unique designer clothes as they make their way down the runway.
And according to the heads of this little project, changes had to be made to the characters so that they could.. fit into the not for use in real life “fashion statements” that have no practical use outside of any reality that these people are dreaming up.
“When we got to the moment when all Disney characters walk on the runway, there was a discussion,” Freedman recalled. “The standard Minnie Mouse will not look so good in a Lanvin dress. There was a real moment of silence, because these characters don’t change. I said, ‘If we’re going to make this work, we have to have a 5-foot-11 Minnie,’ and they agreed. When you see Goofy, Minnie and Mickey, they are runway models.”
There’s massive amounts of blood pouring from my nose from the popped blood vessels that statement caused. Look, I’m all for taking a few liberties with popular characters, but don’t crap on everything that makes them classic. Square Enix managed to integrate theses guys into a Final Fantasy universe and look how well that worked. But I forgot that we’re dealing with a bunch of high end fashion snobs enjoy cheese made from some endangered mountain cat and copious amounts blow that they doll out to their models.
Anyone who looks at this and says “Hey, that’s a good idea”, guess what, you need to be hung in public as statement of what happens to people who encourage this kind of crap. People, there is NOTHING good about whorish looking Disney characters. I right now fear to see what Snow White is going to look like. I mean, Olive Oil, Popeye’s girlfriend, would tell these characters to eat a sandwich! How is this cool? Add to that the MASSIVELY HORRIBLE message this sends that this kind of thin is a good thing. I haven’t even dug into the fact that Goofy, who’s normally one of the thinnest Disney characters, LOOKS LIKE A HIPSTER DOUCHEBAG! Why? He has a look on his face like his farts smell of brute and flowers.
Which, I don’t know a living straight man that finds runway fashion models attractive. They’re walking skeletons for the most part. They don’t look like real women. I won’t go into why they look like that as it might come off as something else, but, just look up the people who design fashion, add boyish figure,and yeah.
Can we agree this is all crap, and if Walt was still alive, he’d have everyone involved in this secretly killed and buried under Space Mountain?