Little over a year ago, there were rumors of a Captain Planet film getting made. I bemoaned then what I bemoan now. Why? Captain Planet was one of the worst fucking cartoons of the 90′s. Even as a kid, I knew I was being force fed some hippy tree hugging crap by rich and colorful cast of characters. Seriously, look at Captain Planet. He’s clearly the creation of a panel of people to make him as ethnically neutral as possible. Don’t argue with me on the fact that he’s “MAGIC” he’s pretty much the cartoon equivalent of the Greendale Human Being with a pompadour. The best thing to come out of that show has been the Funny or Die skits with Don Cheadle.
But, all that isn’t enough to stop Sony from moving forward with a movie based around 5 douchy kids with power rings to fight corporate evil. Never mind that the show was the brain child of Ted Turner, who ran one of the biggest corporations in America at the time, making saving the environment cool is the sell point. That, and nostalgia value. No one but a few producers are named as part of this project at the moment, but as a guy who thinks that Jem and the Holigrams could be made into a great film, this sounds like a fucking terrible idea.