Be forewarned: MAJOR SPOILERS! This past weekend the crew and I here at the Realm Cast have watched Pacific Rim easily a dozen times in every possible format (except for drive-in). Obviously having watched it so many times we enjoyed it. That being said, it got myself and our comic guru, Serg talking about all the things wrong with this movie we all enjoyed so much. Again, SPOILERS people!
Although it will spawn tons of hate mail here is our top 10 list of things wrong with Pacific Rim:
- Why are all the pilots located in the head of the Jaeger?
The beginning of the film shows us how easily that massive Jaeger can be taken down once the pilots are dispatched. An that was 5 years in the past. Cut to present day and Crimson Typhoon (the best Jaeger they have with three arms no less) is taken out in a couple of minutes by the ever evolving Kaiju. Hell, even Voltron had the pilots in each appendage so that should they lose an arm they could continue fighting and avenge that arm. Switch it up people, the cockpits for the pilots could’ve been in different places on each Jaeger. I think we all learned not to put our eggs in one basket.
- Why don’t all Jaeger pilots have suits with sealed helmets that give them an oxygen supply?
Apparently the only people that thought this was a good idea was America? Sure those visors on the Russian Jaeger’s pilots looked pretty cool, but it didn’t do jack for them when they were being held underwater like a kid at swim class. If they’d had sealed helmets they could’ve possibly survived and fought to the last minute.
- Crimson Typhoon, what the hell happened?
So much build up there and they were taken out like a punk. The more powerful the drift was, the better a fighter it made the pilots/ Jaeger. Crimson Typhoon has 3 pilots so you would think it would be freaking unstoppable! Nope, taken out with one move by the Kaiju because by now 5 years later they’ve learned pilots are ALWAYS in the head (see number 1)
- All the other pre-existing military forces stop fighting after the Jaegers are made?
So you’ve got these giant monsters rampaging through the city, typically one Jaeger to fight them, and the choppers that drop the Jaeger off can’t stick around to lend support in the form of cover fire? No jets, battleships, tanks or anti-aircraft to continue laying down fire as the Jaeger does battle, you know to lend them a hand. Hell even the NEST team helped Optimus when he was fighting Megatron in Transformers.
- If the Kaiju are clones how is one of them pregnant?
So they’re clones of the previous versions of themselves. They’re all connected, basically all the same person. We clearly see them standing in line just waiting until the masters send them over to earth. As we learn, much like a line at Disneyland that wait can take 2-4 weeks. Apparently the Kaiju got bored and started messin’ around with each other. I know what you’re thinking- incest, eww! But no, you see since they’re just clones of themselves it was just masterbation… technically.
- Hannibal Chao drifted once with a Kaiju so HE brought destruction down upon us!
Hellboy clearly states to Professor Charlie Day that he drifted with a Kaiju before and that it’s not to be done because they come for you (hive mind and all). So basically every attack on Hong Kong (7 which the “great & powerful” Crimson Typhoon deflected) were all Hannibal Chao’s fault because they were coming for him.
- You couldn’t drop the Jaegers off any closer?
As we mentioned in number 4, the military choppers drop the Jaegers off at the point of engagement. So they could drop them off anywhere with no problem. However in the final major offensive by the human race the choppers couldn’t drop them off at the damn rift? They left them a few miles back making them have to robot walk the rest of the way in. Thanks for the lift boys, I guess.
- Striker Eureka causes a tsunami that would have destroyed the Pacific Rim countries.
So Striker Eureka sacrifices itself by setting off the nuclear bomb strapped to it’s back (equal to 100 some odd tons of TNT) to kill 2 of the 3 Kaiju at the rift. In doing so though, that would have caused a tsunami that would have wiped out a good chunk of the countries they were trying to protect.
- Gipsy Danger is impervious to any EMP pulse?
Okay, I’ll buy that Gipsy was built to withstand the weird monster EMP pulse that it shot off it’s back, BUT one from a nuclear bomb we made? If the film Broken Arrow taught me anything it’s that a nuclear device will shut down ANYTHING electronic within a set radius even if you detonate it underground. Gipsy has one detonated right next to it and nothing happens… NOTHING? Say what you will all those electronics in that Jaeger looked very digital to me.
- Gipsy Danger makes it through the rift and the ID4 alien masters are not troubled by this?
Gipsy makes it into the other dimension and is just chillin’ for a few minutes floating around priming their nuclear reactors to blow and this does not even phase the alien masters (which happen to be the same aliens from Independence Day). They just kinda stand there with that, “Huh, hey Marvin look at that, a robot.” demeanor.
There you have it folks. A few friendly observations meant to poke fun, not disparage this very enjoyable film. Be sure to check it out in theaters.