I’m going to try something different with my recap this week. Instead of going scene by scene and telling you every single thing that happened, I’m going to lump all of the relevant storylines together. So if you’re like me and could care less about the werewolves’ storyline you can just skip that whole section. I even have a spiffy new rating system so you can see how good or bad this episode is. Sounds good? Ok, let’s go.
This episode is rated:
Storyline 1: Terry’s Funeral
I think I’m not alone in saying that when Terry Bellefleur was shot I didn’t really feel anything. I didn’t care. Who’s Terry anyway? Every storyline he’s been in didn’t make me care or invested in his character at all. He’s always been the crazy ex-marine with a heart of gold – boring when there are more colorful characters to worry about. Terry’s funeral however changed all that. True Blood did what I thought no one ever could; my heart grew three sizes that day. Terry’s funeral was touching and not at all campy with loving flashbacks of everyone’s fond memories of him. Most of the main characters, besides the vampires fighting for their lives in Vamp Camp, paid their last respects and it was truly emotional.
The funeral begins with Arlene upset that this is not the funeral Terry would have wanted. Grandma Bellefleur at least let her have the reverend that Terry would have wanted, Reverend Daniels “from the Black church,” who shows up with his evil wife, Tara’s mom. Reverend Daniels tells the mourners how Terry loved and was devoted to his family and that he always put them first.
The first to speak is Andy who tells everyone how Terry came back from war and was not alright. He had holed himself up in the woods at Fort Bellefleur and would not speak to anyone. Andy continued to try to coax him out but it wasn’t until he and Sam (told through Sam’s turn at the podium) found his favorite beer and offered him a job did he come out of hiding.
Lafayette is next and tells how, while working with Terry, he looked into his soul and saw his pain. We finally got to see some of the old Lafayette we all love as he shows Terry how to fry the French fries with some style.
Portia, Terry’s cousin, tells some dumb-ass story that no one cares about. After she’s done Rev. Daniels asks if anyone else has something to say. Sookie, reading Arlene’s thoughts that she’s not ready to say goodbye, takes the podium. Sookie comes out of the closet and tells everyone, “I’m a telepath.” Ok, so not full disclosure, but saying “I’m a fairy” might take the focus away from Terry. She tells Arlene directly that she heard Terry’s thoughts on the first day they worked together. Terry loved Arlene from the second he saw her and she made coming out of the woods not so scary. “Not too many people can say that they were loved like that. You can, Arlene.”
Arlene finally speaks and tells the story of how Terry was her rock on the day Mikey was born. Before the Marines do their thing, Big John sings a song that Terry liked called, “Life Matters.” After the salute Arlene thinks to herself that Terry would’ve actually liked the service. Sookie, listening in, says “Good.”
Storyline 2: Vamp Camp
Bill arrives to the carnage Eric created. Meanwhile the before-mentioned Eric finds Dr. Overlark, rips out his penis, throws it aside and leaves him to bleed out. Before he could do so, Bill finds the doctor who begs for death. Bill then obliterates him after finding out that the doctor hurt Jessica.
Eric frees the vampires in general population and rescues Jason. Eric heals him and they begin the search for the others. While looking, Eric and Jason find Dr. Shifty Eyes who tells them that he will die a happy man because he had sex with Pam. Eric spares Dr. Shifty’s life to save him for Pam.
Bill, who figures out that his blood can save the vamps about to meet the sun, finally finds the white room. Sarah Newlin, instead of fleeing for her life the way any sane person would, goes to the white room to open the top and fry the vamps inside. To her astonishment, Bill is already there and everyone is feeding on him. The only vamp not able to get to Bill is Steve Newlin. Eric arrives and finds Steve who tries to beg for his life. No such luck. RIP Steve Newlin.
The vamps frolic in the sunlight leaving a weak Bill in the white room. Lilith’s girls come to him and tell him his time on this world is over. Jessica and James go back after Bill and rescue him.
Jason catches Sarah before she could escape and confronts her but chickens out in the end and lets her go.
The vamps destroy all of the Tru Blood bottles from the palettes outside. Bill walks out to a round of applause and thanks. As everyone is walking away, Pam turns around and sees Eric in the distance. “Don’t you dare leave me,” Pam says. Eric flies away.
Storyline 3: Warlow in Wonderland
After finding Warlow almost sucked dry by Eric, Sookie nurses him back to health and banishes Bill from Fairyland letting him know that the deal is off. Warlow, like the needy bitch he his, wants Sookie’s reassurance that she will still be his. “I always keep my promises,” says Sookie.
Storyline 4: Hep V
Tainted Tru Blood bottles are in the middle of being delivered in Honolulu when the trucks are hijacked by local vamps. Hep V is out y’all.
Here’s a preview of next week’s season finale:
True Blood airs Sundays at 9:00pm on HBO.